No longer a journey for IVF

It's been quite a while since I last posted. In fact, life has drastically changed! At my last post, we had a miscarriage through IVF and I was going to walk 100 miles before we started our next round of treatment. But that all came to a halt with one phone call. During my D & C procedure, the doctor had sent off a biopsy for testing. The pathology had returned. It wasn't great news! They had found abnormal cells! My doctor described in detail what it might all mean and the name for what they had found, but all I heard was, "You need to schedule an appointment with a gynecological oncologist." No one ever wants to hear those words. We decided I would see a doctor out of Boston and the remainder of the day was a blur. I scheduled my appointment and a week later received another call from my doctor's office, this time at 7 pm. What doctor makes calls at 7 pm? I was in a panic as I saw the number show up on my caller ID. I quietly answered the phone, not sure what to expect. It was in fact my doctor. My pathology report had been sent to a board of doctors for review and recommendations. They were recommended 3-6 months of treatment and 3 clean biopsies in a row, 3 months apart, before I could even dream about trying IVF again. We were looking at no less than a year and a half before we MIGHT be able to try IVF again. Forget walking a 100 miles, I'd be at 1,000 before then. I cried! After I cried, I became resolved. We would not wait almost 2 years to start our family. I began researching adoption with more vigor. It had always been an option for us, but we'd never researched or given deep consideration of it this soon. Before our first appointment with the oncologist we had already attended on meeting for adoption. It was a cold day in December when we headed to the oncologist. Josh came with me as this was a scary time for me. We sat and waited. My name was called and we headed back. First we met with her PA and then my doctor. They confirmed that I had abnormal cells. My doctor began to tell us the recommended treatment was a hysterectomy, but as I cried, she knew we wanted to have kids. She said I could try another option for treatment for a year and then two clean biopsies and I could try IVF. However, she wanted me to know that after we were done having kids, I would need surgery or I would end up with cancer. There was no way to stop it, my body was producing abnormal, pre-cancer cells. A week later we met with our second adoption agency. We loved them! It was clear what the next year would be, adoption process and treatment. Two years, IVF with a toddler. We completed our preliminary application and waited to hear that we had been accepted. By mid January we had completed our formal application and had our first meeting with our social worker. February I started the course of treatment (hormone replacement) and continued to work on our home study paperwork. While I was enjoying the adoption process and learning all sorts of fascinating information, my body did not take well to the form of treatment we had chosen. I met with my doctor in early March and we started a second form of treatment. Two weeks later, in tears, I realized I couldn't do it. We were adopting, it could take a year, we wouldn't want to try IVF until the baby was a year, and I wasn't sleeping. My body reacted to the medication by not sleeping. I was looking at at least a year and up to two years of no sleep, having a baby through adoption and trying to be a wife. That was no way to live. Josh and I made the hard and painful decision to have a hysterectomy. I had told my doctor's PA that we might be leaning that way and she stated I had to meet with the doctor and they would want Josh there as well. Something about them remembering how strongly I had advocated for being able to have a child at my first appointment. So we went. In early March we sat in my oncologist office and scheduled my hysterectomy. April 23rd. We knew God was in control! The week of my surgery we received the call from our social worker, our hard work had paid off. In her shortest time frame, we had completed our home study. We were approved and now waiting. Here we sit, the last day of May, and I'm still in recovery. No one prepares you for the emotional roller coaster ride after a hysterectomy but I am able to trust that God had a plan all along. We are excited for the next chapter in our lives and praying for the children God will allow us to parent through adoption!